Sometimes Friendship Isn’t Enough

September 19, 2008
Goodbye, friend

Goodbye, friend

If I were to make a list of the people in my lifetime who I have disliked on first sight, his name would be at the top. Two years ago this month he showed up at his first raid, brand new to the guild, already giving out orders. I knew that night he would be hard to forget.

For the last two years he has been a part of every major guild event. For every progression kill, he was there tanking. For the annual New Years Eve parties in Stormwind, he was there dancing under the fireworks. When we needed a raid leader, he led us to success. When we needed a vent server, he paid for it himself. When I needed an elusive drop, he stayed up all night running the instance over and over with me.

He taught me about tanking. He taught me about leadership. He taught me never to accept the limits imposed by others but to challenge the boundaries of my class. He taught me never to stop working to achieve my full potential. He taught me about life in the real world. He taught me honesty is more important than making people feel good. He challenged me. He infuriated me. He changed me.

To say he was the best player I ever knew would be an understatement. He thrived on accomplishing feats conventional wisdom declared impossible. Over time it became increasingly more difficult for him to find happiness with us. His quest for perfection, his frustration with the weaknesses of those around him, his need for progression and progress in a guild that is first and foremost casual and family centered …

Two years of memories, shared experiences and real friendships were hard, even for him, to walk away from. But he always did live life on his own terms. He never looked to another for affirmation or approval. He was, first and last, an individual.

He went alone. Quietly, without a word to anyone except my husband, the GM.  He transferred servers looking for a new start with a hard core guild where he could explore end game content free from those that held him back.

There was no drama. There were no angry words. No sappy goodbyes. Just a cordial parting of ways handled quietly in the early morning hours while the rest of the guild slept.

Tomorrow they will know. Tomorrow there will be questions, tears, anger; all the drama that follows when a core member, officer, raid leader … and friend leaves a guild.

But tonight, before the storm breaks, I sit alone and remember my friend. I recall the laughter, the anger, the good times and the bad. Perhaps for the first time, I truly appreciate him for who he was rather than who I wanted him to be. I contemplate the lessons he taught me over the last two years and I realize that tonight, in his departure, he has taught me one final lesson.

Sometimes friendship isn’t enough.

I hope you find what you are seeking, my friend. I hope your next guild can give you the opportunities you deserve. I hope you have the chance to experience all this amazing World of Warcraft has to offer. I hope, someday, you find the fulfillment you have sought for so long.




  1. It’s sad when something like that happens isn’t it. You want so badly to hold onto that person but you know it’s kinder to let them go off and find the guild they’re looking for.

  2. Wow, really heartrending post =/ All to reminiscent of things that happened in my own guild. /hug

  3. Thank you for the kind comments. It means a lot since this is one situation in which I did not feel I could look to my real life friends for support.

    I was relieved to find that, while the loss of our friend was keenly felt, it has not had a negative effect on the guild.

    We are moving forward with great expectations of the expansion and a renewed commitment to the friendship that is, for the rest of us, more than enough.

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